Travel Notes...

It's difficult to write about your experiences when travelling abroad without sounding supercilious and making gross generalisations (that's just a euphemism for being a bit racist). Contrary to what most 'Gap Yah' students say, spending 3 weeks backpacking in a country does not make you a native, nor does it make you Marco Polo- although, I'm pretty sure I discovered some uncharted territories in Chinese public toilets. That brings me to my first observation; hygiene.

By starting off with hygiene, I'm worried that I'm painting quite a negative picture of one of the world's oldest cultures. Don't get me wrong, I spent some of the best weeks of my life in China, but that doesn't mean that I would eat off the ground. There are few things in this world which I find truly vulgar; Tracy Emin's artwork, really low v-necks on men and people who spit. Now that JLS have split up, the second one isn't much of a problem any more. However, there was so much spitting in China that it was only a matter of time before someone missed the floor and spat on me. I embraced it, as every experienced traveller should, with a frenzied meltdown where I repeatedly screamed HEPATITIS at the man who spat on me. Looking back at my search history, I realise that I may have been a bit irrational with regard to some aspects of hygiene. I'm pretty sure that I was at my worst when I googled 'Can bed bugs kill?' and 'Symptoms of Cholera'. 

When travelling with a large group of people, it is important to be yourself at all times. Not because of what Disney and Julie Andrews taught me, but because they will see you at your worst so there is no point trying to fool anyone into thinking that you're not a charisma black hole. It is also important to note that being in such close quarters with a small group of people, you will eventually have the constant urge to punch someone in the face. In my case, it was a 75 year old woman. Okay, before you go about judging me for hating on an old lady, dispel the image of a backpacking Betty White from your mind and replace it with someone much less endearing. Like a 75 year old love child of Tom Cruise and Lindsay Lohan (in 10 years time when she looks like Peter Griffin and you don't feel bad about making fun of her because you've forgotten that she was cute in the Parent Trap). Regardless of who it is, it is important to not let the rage get to you because it builds up. First, you subconsciously roll your eyes at everything they say and BAM you're up in the middle of the night standing over their body.

Another thing to consider when travelling is the language barrier. I try not to be that person who gets frustrated when people cannot speak English. We should be accepting a culture in its entirety and attempting to speak their language. However, that was before I made a complete arse of myself when searching for the 'Lama Temple' in Beijing. Now that I think about it, it was probably ignorant of me to think that the Chinese once worshipped llamas. But nonetheless, when hopelessly lost, I asked for directions by using my arms and leg to act out a llama. The temple gesture was easy enough. Obviously, no one knew what the seizuring Westerner was on about and to add to my humiliation at getting lost, I had a crowd of Chinese people laughing at me. 

Basically, I made Bill Bryson look like George Clooney.