What Mexican Soaps Have Taught Me...

During my long period of summer laziness, I acquired a somewhat unhealthy addiction. I struggled through the withdrawal phase as I weened myself off of stair pushing, child abandoning, split personality drama.

Yes, I watched Mexican soaps. I could have saved myself a considerable amount of time (more than I would like to admit) by just investing my time in one. Because they are all the same. Same plot; apart from a few embellishments such as- well, names really. Same actors too. As valuable as Thalia's acting skills are in our world, I've seen a larger variety of emotions on loo roll. Or even Kristen Stewart. I realise the second one was harsh. To loo roll.

One way in which crap Mexican TV has benefitted me is that I can now say;
- That is not your child.
- I am your real mother.
- What? You want to marry a poor girl? (Poor in terms of fortune, not empathy)
- I gave my baby away to a flower seller in a fit of postpartum depression...

ALL in Spanish.
Plus I have also come to the realisation that Mexicans cry all the time. There were times when I couldn't tell if the actors were happy, sad or going insane. It doesn't help that there are a million peaks and troughs in plot development- so they're together, then they realise they're siblings, then they find out they're not blood relations, they have a child, hospital results are mixed up, woman gets a terminal illness, they break up, man think child is another man's, 10 years pass and child looks like father, real hospital results revealed, happy family, BAM the woman gets hit by a car, becomes a cripple, falls down the stairs and can walk again. Throughout all this drama, I don't think that there was one scene where someone was not crying. It was hard to make heads or tails out of it with the ridiculous camera work. I have never seen so many dramatic, alternating facial zooms in one scene. Not only is this feature incredibly unnecessary, but I'm pretty sure it is a hazard for epileptic people.

So if you feel like you want to watch some uplifting/good television, don't be expecting anything but the crudest form of entertainment from Mexican soaps.